If Your Life Sucks Then Your Beliefs Suck Too


Hate To Do This To You Again But by James Wilkinson

Hate To Do This To You Again But by James Wilkinson


In recent months, I was in a tremendous slump.  I felt disconnected from my God, from life, from others.  I became so angry that I began yelling at everyone in my house, including my children.  My home became increasingly messy because I didn’t have the energy to clean up regularly.  My grades took a nose dive and I barely passed my classes.  My husband and I were in a constant state of disagreement, that I was contemplating divorce.  I had lost control and I felt completely defeated.  One day in bed, I was watching videos on YouTube and came across a series of videos that truly helped me.  While watching these videos I realized I could change my situation if I re-framed what I believed.

When I began to examine my beliefs, I realized I had some very self-defeating thoughts that lead to self-defeating behaviors.  I learned that many of my negative beliefs stemmed from my childhood, and those feelings that I felt had to be recognized and dealt with in order for me to begin healing.  Once I realized my past, and took responsibility for the role I played in continuing the cycle, I then had to recreate my beliefs to reflect what I want to manifest in my life.

If your life isn’t what you’d like it to be, then you should examine your belief system.  I guarantee that is the source of your dismay.  Your thoughts are based on a underlying belief system that ultimately drives your behavior.  For example, If you’re dating or married to someone that mistreats you, then you probably believe you’re not worthy of love and respect.  This belief probably stems from your childhood, and was made manifest in your adult life.  Here’s the kicker.  Your thoughts will support your beliefs.  You attract what you believe.  Whatever you’re struggling with in your life, you should reflect on what you believe about yourself.

If your life sucks then your beliefs do too.  If you positively change your thoughts your life will change positively.

Affirmations:  I am capable

                       I am able to change my beliefs

                       I am able to make a change

                       I have the power to move mountains

Pray, meditate, then take action.

Here’s to living essentially,


Is your belief system serving you in a fulfilling way?  Tell your story.


Here’s another video that may be helpful.  It was helpful for me.


Why pretend?


Being true to yourself means valuing your own opinion of you.

Being true to yourself means valuing your own opinion of you.

For most of my adult life I’ve taken action based on what others wanted me to do, or what someone else thought was best for me.  While I believe those people meant well, what they told me to do was antithetical to what I was thinking.  So I unhappily pursued goals and dreams that I had no interest in.  No wonder my life hasn’t panned out the way I thought it would.  I’ve been pretending to be happy, when deep down I felt like crap.  After doing some reading and soul-searching I realize, when you pursue goals that aren’t your own, you’ve given away your power.  That’s right!  I gave away my power because I wanted to maintain those relationships.  My self-esteem was tied into how others felt about me instead of how I felt about myself.  I needed approval because I didn’t trust my own judgment.  Now that I’m saying it, it’s a painful thing to deal with, but in revealing my pain I hope to help someone else.

When you don’t love yourself, you’re telling  God (or your Higher Intelligence, etc.) that “you” are inadequate.  You’re saying that “you” in and of yourself, aren’t good enough.  You’re saying that “you” are incapable of living life under your terms.  When you don’t love yourself, you give your  power away.  Yep!  You hand it right over.  What’s worse is, you typically hand it over to someone who doesn’t have power over their own lives.  I know that’s what I did.  I usually gave my power to a significant other, like a boyfriend or for me currently, my spouse.  I wanted to be accepted within a loving relationship, and I traded my spirit for it.  I wanted to find a relationship that replaced the lack of love I felt from my mother.  I was chasing feelings of love.

Now, let me say this.  I’m not blaming my mother for anything.  I used to, thus giving away my power again.  I realize now that my mother, had her own issues that she had difficulties dealing with and she taught me the best way she knew how.  I don’t blame her for the choices I’ve made as an adult because I could’ve sought proper counsel and I didn’t.  I thought I had no power.  I thought my circumstances were my life, and so I didn’t seek help.  I now realize I have the power to change my life, with God’s help.  That’s the path I’m on because I’m tired of pretending to be happy.  I’m tired of living a life without passion.  I’m tired of being tired.  How about you?

Is your life the way you want it to be?  Are you pretending?  Have you given away your power?  Get your power back by learning to love and trust yourself.  See if you can figure out what is the broken relationship in your life.  Do you know which feelings of love you are trying to capture?  It may take a lot of time, but make the choice to make peace with that relationship.  Only you know how you can make peace, but if you make the decision to do it, give it your all.  Love and trust that God has given you everything you need to take you to the next level.  Forgiveness will take you to your next phase.  Why pretend when you can begin to live the life you want to live?

There’s one more thing.  Seek help.  Don’t take this journey without guidance.

Pray, meditate, then take action.

Here’s to living essentially.


I would love to hear from you.  Tell me what you think in the comments section.


Be Grateful

Photo by David Wagner Posted by BK via Flickr.com

Photo by David Wagner
Posted by BK via Flickr.com

I’m grateful for my life, and I haven’t always been.  Sometimes I take my life for granted. I take unnecessary risks. Thankfully, God loves me enough to save me from myself.

I’m also grateful for my children.  Although parenting can be challenging, it is also extremely rewarding.  They’re the reasons why I want to make my life better.  I want to make their lives better, and the lives of my future generations.  My three children are blessings, and I love them so very much.  They make me laugh, cry, and some days pull our my hair, but I wouldn’t trade my “little rascals” for the world.  They give me life.

I’m grateful for my husband.  He’s put up with so much of my foolishness as I’ve gone on this path.  Baby, thank you for being my friend.  Although we’ve had our issues, you’ve been right there.

I’m grateful for my parents. My dad is my electricity.  He gives me the energy to move.  My mom and I haven’t always had the best relationship, but their isn’t any relationship that has rebounded faster in the last twelve years.  She and I have worked to make our relationship work, and it is working. I love my parents, and although they’re no longer together, the friendship is still their.  I’m also grateful for my step-mom.  She’s the perfect stepmother.  She’s really been a friend.  She’s helped me out of a couple of jams too.

I’m grateful for my brother and sister.  Although we have our own lives, and we don’t talk everyday, we still have a great connection.  We have so much fun when we’re together.  Being with my siblings truly makes me happy.

I’m grateful for you.  Yes, you!  You took a chance on me, and you’re reading my words. I want to say “thank you”.

With so much negativity in the world it is easy to focus on the negative.  However, there are some good things happening in your life, and you should acknowledge it.  Whatever you acknowledge the most is what you will manifest.  So if your life isn’t what you want it to be, then you have to  change the way you think, and find the blessing.  Find the goodness in your life.  Look for the positive. If you don’t, you’ll continue to see the negative, and thus produce negative results.  Give it try.

Be grateful!

Pray, meditate, then take action.

Here’s to living essentially.


Please comment below.

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Previous posts

1/1 —> Happy New Year

1/8 —> Where I am vs Where I want to be

1/15 –> Step out of the box!

1/22 –> My thinking

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