If Your Life Sucks Then Your Beliefs Suck Too

 

Hate To Do This To You Again But by James Wilkinson

Hate To Do This To You Again But by James Wilkinson

 

In recent months, I was in a tremendous slump.  I felt disconnected from my God, from life, from others.  I became so angry that I began yelling at everyone in my house, including my children.  My home became increasingly messy because I didn’t have the energy to clean up regularly.  My grades took a nose dive and I barely passed my classes.  My husband and I were in a constant state of disagreement, that I was contemplating divorce.  I had lost control and I felt completely defeated.  One day in bed, I was watching videos on YouTube and came across a series of videos that truly helped me.  While watching these videos I realized I could change my situation if I re-framed what I believed.

When I began to examine my beliefs, I realized I had some very self-defeating thoughts that lead to self-defeating behaviors.  I learned that many of my negative beliefs stemmed from my childhood, and those feelings that I felt had to be recognized and dealt with in order for me to begin healing.  Once I realized my past, and took responsibility for the role I played in continuing the cycle, I then had to recreate my beliefs to reflect what I want to manifest in my life.

If your life isn’t what you’d like it to be, then you should examine your belief system.  I guarantee that is the source of your dismay.  Your thoughts are based on a underlying belief system that ultimately drives your behavior.  For example, If you’re dating or married to someone that mistreats you, then you probably believe you’re not worthy of love and respect.  This belief probably stems from your childhood, and was made manifest in your adult life.  Here’s the kicker.  Your thoughts will support your beliefs.  You attract what you believe.  Whatever you’re struggling with in your life, you should reflect on what you believe about yourself.

If your life sucks then your beliefs do too.  If you positively change your thoughts your life will change positively.

Affirmations:  I am capable

                       I am able to change my beliefs

                       I am able to make a change

                       I have the power to move mountains

Pray, meditate, then take action.

Here’s to living essentially,

Jae

Is your belief system serving you in a fulfilling way?  Tell your story.

 

Here’s another video that may be helpful.  It was helpful for me.

 

This Is The Only Way To Be Successful

On Your Mark by Mike Carey via flickr.com

On Your Mark by Mike Carey via flickr.com

I believe it is safe to say everyone wants to be successful.  Success is inextricably linked to being happy.  I know I can say that everyone wants to be happy.  The question is, why is success (or happiness) so elusive for some?  The answer is easy.  There is only one surefire way to experience success in your life, and that is to get started.

So many of us make life more complicated than it is, when the principles are very simple.  The only way to experience whatever you desire in life is to get started.  Do you want to lose 10lbs? Get started.  Do you want to find love?  Get started working on yourself.  Do you want to go back to school and get your degree? Get started.  Do you want to change the world?  Get started, then.

We make so many excuses on why we don’t have certain things in our lives when the truth is,  we haven’t done the work.  So if you want to see, be, or do something that will make you happy, then get started.  Getting started (and continuing until you succeed) is the only way to become successful.

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” – Wayne Gretzky

Wayne Gretzky by asylumgfx via flickr.com

Wayne Gretzky by asylumgfx via flickr.com

Pray, meditate, then take action.

Here’s  to living essentially,

Jaketta, the E/O Chick

Have You Seen The Changes?

Picture by Brian on flickr.com

Picture by Brian on flickr.com

I told you it’s time for a change, and I meant it.  If you’ve been following this blog then hopefully you have noticed a couple of new changes.  The first change you may notice is I changed the theme.  Mentally, I am moving in a new direction, and I needed to see colors that reflected that.  I also changed the tagline from “Raising my self-awareness while using essential oils” to “The Life and Sayings of the E/O Chick”.  The former tagline was boring.  The new one is more indicative of my vibrant personality.  You can look forward to frequent postings, more pictures, and topics that show my serious and fun side.  I’m going to talk about being a mom, fitness, fashion, and of course health and wellness with essential oils(I mean, I am the E/O chick), and more.

Here’s why change is necessary.  I’m tired of life happening to me.  I’ve decided to take control of my life, (through prayer and mediation) and create the life I believe I should have. If you’re stuck in this rut, make the decision to do whatever it takes to get out of it.  You are more than your circumstances. The only person stopping you is you.  Learn to love yourself enough to give yourself the best.

Pray, meditate, and take action

Here’s to living essentially,

Jaketta

It’s Time For a Change

I haven’t written a post in a few weeks, and there’s a reason.  I’m going through a mental revamp.

In the last six weeks, I have gone through the most turbulent emotional time in my adult life.  It had gotten so bad, that I didn’t get out of bed for days and days.  I barely ate.  I barely slept.  I barely showered.  It was rough!

Now I have come out on the other side, and I can say that I’m a better person because of this experience.  I learned a lot about myself.  I learned the importance of having the right people around me.  I also realize how important it is to stay spiritually connected to God.

If you are going through something right now, know this.  You can endure more than you believe.  You have power.  You have choices.  Make the choice that best fits you and your unit. Your unit can be your family, your team, etc.  Do what will allow you to live your very best life.  To live any other way is spiritual suicide.  Your life means something and you are here to deliver your special gift to the world.

As I said earlier, I’m going through a mental revamp, and because of this, this blog is going to be revamped as well.  In June you will see a new title.  You will see more postings throughout the week.  You will see more pictures.  You will get more of me and the message behind this journey.  Yes, this blog will still be a place where you can receive some encouragement, but you will also see much, much more.

I’m excited!  I hope you are too.  Get ready for a fun time.

I thank you for sticking with me.  I hope you will like the new changes.  I hope we all take steps to make our lives better, so we can help someone else.

Pray, meditate, then take action

Here’s to living essentially,

Jaketta

You Can Do It

The Truth Project Photo by  bound_4_freedom on flickr.com

The Truth Project
Photo by
bound_4_freedom on flickr.com

The truth is you already know what to do so do it!  Make the decision to make it happen regarding anything you want to change.  No more excuses.  No more shoulda, coulda, wouldas.  Make the decision to take action.  That’s the only thing that is holding you back because you have the answer; you just haven’t taken action.  Yes! Taking action means you’ll have to step out of your comfort zone.  Yes! Taking action means you’ll have to put in the extra effort.  Yes! Taking action means you will have to make some adjustments.  But let me ask you, do you like how things are going?  Do you like who’ve you become?  No?  Then change it!  No more crying and whining.  Change it!  Get it done! Make it happen!  Find a way!  You know why?  Because you can do it!

Pray, meditate, and take action.

Here’s to living essentially,

Jaketta

Appreciate the process

Photo by Neil Howard

Photo by Neil Howard

Today, I am grateful for where I am in my life.  I’m definitely on a path to healing the rips and tears in my soul.  I believe God is going to  bless my efforts.  What must be remembered is the process takes time.  Healing is a process, and does not happen overnight.  Sure, you can do things to speed up the process, but it’s still a process none the less.  I’m thankful for where the process has gotten me thus far.  I have a long way to go, but I’m excited about the places the path of forgiveness will take me.

One of the first persons I had to forgive was myself.  For most of my life, I have tried to punish myself for my past transgressions.  I tried to shame myself into proper behavior, but that only led to feeling less about myself.  Now I’m learning to appreciate myself.  I’m learning to love how God made me, because I am enough.  I am enough!

I appreciate my place on this path.  It hasn’t been easy, but I trust this is the right way to go because it feels organic.  A little more of my soul is at peace.

Wherever you are on your path, appreciate where you are.  Sure, you still have long way to go, but appreciate how far you have come.  You’ve done well, and you should give yourself credit for the progress you’ve made.  Appreciate the process.

Pray, meditate, then take action

Here’s to living essentially.

Jaketta

That Stops Today

I wrote this poem in the wee hours of the night.  At the time, I was feeling so alone.  I didn’t feel like myself, and I couldn’t understand why.  I asked God to help me get through the night because my spirit was as low as it has been in a long time.  Here’s what happened when I sat still.

 

That Stops Today

I’ve forsaken my art

I’ve lowered my voice

Once loud, and boisterous

I’ve quieted by choice

Scared to hurt those around me

While I let their thoughts surround and abound me

Crushed like ice

Whipped with force

The road I’m on

Is not my chosen  course

I need to go my way

I know I’ll lose some friends

I need to go my way

The path I’m on is a dead end

I’m tired

I’m weak and worn

Worn, but not worn out

Discouraged, but still knocking down doubt

I have words

and my words carry clout!!

So I restore my voice

It’s all I have

I restore my voice

although others laugh

I lift my voice

I lift my voice

I lift my voice!

I have something to say!

I have forsaken my voice

But that shit stops today!

This is an original poem

I read a quote from @PositiveMinds__ on Twitter on 12/30/15.  These are words to live by.

“Give, but do not allow yourself to be used.  Love, but do not allow your heart to be abused.  Trust, but don’t be naive.  Listen to others, but don’t lose your own voice.”

That is where I am in my life.  I’m finding my voice.  I’m regaining my power.  I’m no longer pretending.

This is especially true for women

Oftentimes, we find ourselves bogged down by our responsibilities, and we don’t take care of ourselves because we are so busy trying to care for others.  The thing is, being selfless is not a virtue.  It’s a crime against humanity.  You owe it to the world to be the best person you can be.  You cannot be your best self if you rarely invest in you.

Get back to the basics.  Focus on God to (re)develop your path of spiritual growth.  Focus on improving your physical health so that you can begin to feel better, and feel better about yourself.  Fall in love with yourself again.  Now, none of the basics require you to neglect your responsibilities; however, it does require extra effort.  Restore your voice because you have something to say.  Quelling your voice?  Well, that *ish* stops today!

Pray,  meditate, then take action.

Here’s to living essentially.

Jaketta

 

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Why pretend?

 

Being true to yourself means valuing your own opinion of you.

Being true to yourself means valuing your own opinion of you.

For most of my adult life I’ve taken action based on what others wanted me to do, or what someone else thought was best for me.  While I believe those people meant well, what they told me to do was antithetical to what I was thinking.  So I unhappily pursued goals and dreams that I had no interest in.  No wonder my life hasn’t panned out the way I thought it would.  I’ve been pretending to be happy, when deep down I felt like crap.  After doing some reading and soul-searching I realize, when you pursue goals that aren’t your own, you’ve given away your power.  That’s right!  I gave away my power because I wanted to maintain those relationships.  My self-esteem was tied into how others felt about me instead of how I felt about myself.  I needed approval because I didn’t trust my own judgment.  Now that I’m saying it, it’s a painful thing to deal with, but in revealing my pain I hope to help someone else.

When you don’t love yourself, you’re telling  God (or your Higher Intelligence, etc.) that “you” are inadequate.  You’re saying that “you” in and of yourself, aren’t good enough.  You’re saying that “you” are incapable of living life under your terms.  When you don’t love yourself, you give your  power away.  Yep!  You hand it right over.  What’s worse is, you typically hand it over to someone who doesn’t have power over their own lives.  I know that’s what I did.  I usually gave my power to a significant other, like a boyfriend or for me currently, my spouse.  I wanted to be accepted within a loving relationship, and I traded my spirit for it.  I wanted to find a relationship that replaced the lack of love I felt from my mother.  I was chasing feelings of love.

Now, let me say this.  I’m not blaming my mother for anything.  I used to, thus giving away my power again.  I realize now that my mother, had her own issues that she had difficulties dealing with and she taught me the best way she knew how.  I don’t blame her for the choices I’ve made as an adult because I could’ve sought proper counsel and I didn’t.  I thought I had no power.  I thought my circumstances were my life, and so I didn’t seek help.  I now realize I have the power to change my life, with God’s help.  That’s the path I’m on because I’m tired of pretending to be happy.  I’m tired of living a life without passion.  I’m tired of being tired.  How about you?

Is your life the way you want it to be?  Are you pretending?  Have you given away your power?  Get your power back by learning to love and trust yourself.  See if you can figure out what is the broken relationship in your life.  Do you know which feelings of love you are trying to capture?  It may take a lot of time, but make the choice to make peace with that relationship.  Only you know how you can make peace, but if you make the decision to do it, give it your all.  Love and trust that God has given you everything you need to take you to the next level.  Forgiveness will take you to your next phase.  Why pretend when you can begin to live the life you want to live?

There’s one more thing.  Seek help.  Don’t take this journey without guidance.

Pray, meditate, then take action.

Here’s to living essentially.

Jaketta

I would love to hear from you.  Tell me what you think in the comments section.

 

My thinking

Photo by DIOBURTO Photography

Photo by DIOBURTO Photography

Just recently I’ve realized how much my belief systems have shaped my life.  I used to think my circumstances controlled my destiny.   More and more I’m realizing that circumstances do  matter, but how I handle my circumstances matters more.   Because I want to manifest abundance in my life, I’ve started to question the words I heard growing up.  Much of what I heard was the interpretation of what someone else experienced, and I grew up thinking “that’s life” and there’s  nothing I can do about it.  That paradigm is shifting.

If you are going to reach your goals in life, you have to examine the way you think.  If your thinking hasn’t gotten you where you want to be, then you’ll have to make some adjustments.  There are millions of resources you can read or listen to to help you along the way.  You can get a mentor (Your mentor would be someone that has achieved what you are trying to achieve).  You  can attend seminars, watch webinars, or listen to podcasts.  I am a Christian, so I believe the Bible is the unadulterated truth, so it is my principle guide.  However, it is not the only book I read to gain insight on the things that I want to manifest in my life.  There are so many positive ways to improve your life.  You have to decide what you want to improve; whether it’s your relationships, health, finances, etc.  Once you’ve decided, then you have to dive in.  Question your beliefs and determine if what you speak with your mouth is what you believe in your heart, and vice versa.  What you think and what you speak have to be aligned in order for you to see positive results.  Be cognizant of the thoughts you allow to inhabit your mind.  You get what you think about the most.  Concentrate on what you want instead of what you don’t.

Pray, meditate, then take action.

Here’s to living essentially,

Jaketta

Please comment.  Dialogue is paramount.

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Previous posts

1/1 —>  Happy New Year

1/8 —> Where I am vs Where I want to be

1/15 –> Step out of the box

Upcoming posts

1/29 –> Be grateful

2/5  —> Why am I pretending?

Happy New Year!

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Happy New Year to you!

Having just celebrated  my 39th birthday yesterday, I  am so grateful for my life and this opportunity to be here.

I want to thank you for clicking the link that brought you to this blog.  This blog is about my journey to “being me, essentially”.  For so many years I’ve been what others have wanted me to be.  This has lead me to many years of unhappiness, and rebellion.  I have a different vision for myself, and yet, I squashed that vision to be what others wanted me to be.  This year I’ve decided I’m doing it my way.  I’m going to follow my dreams, and make 2015 the best year yet.  What I’ve finally realized is that the vision for my life may not look like some others, and that’s okay.  I’m finding my courage, and stepping out on faith, and I’m walking the path that was made for me.

You may be on the same journey.  If that’s true, great!  We can support each other along the way. This will be an amazing journey, that will be filled with excitement and pleasure.  It will also have it’s difficult moments when we have to accept responsibility for our poor choices, past and present.  However, by the end  of the year, we’ll have made such a transformation that our friends and loved ones won’t recognize us.  We may not even recognize ourselves.

My hope is by sharing my story I will help you in some way.  I am a wife, mother, autism parent, student, volunteer, and much more.  This blog is going to chronicle my thoughts about this life I’ve been given, and how I navigate it at the best of my current ability.  I would like for the ensuing posts to be a place where we can dialogue and help others, while having a positive conversation, so bullying is not allowed.  There is a way to disagree without being disagreeable.

So here is to having a great year!

Pray, meditate, then take action.

Here’s to living essentially.

Jaketta

Please follow this blog.  Thank you!

Upcoming posts

1/8 —> Where I am  vs Where I want to be

1/15 –> Step out of the box!

1/22 –> My thinking

1/29 –> Be grateful